Ah! My last attempt at a relationship...

I have seen the same guy for the past 6-7 years. He has worked at places I commonly go every time I come back home for any kind of vacation. I know he has obviously had a crush on me, and I've always wanted to get to know him.

Well one day, we decided to actually meet up. It was awesome, he was much better company than I expected but has an interesting smell to him haha Well we were drinking and we were having such a great time we drank even more.

Well to say the least, I woke up next to the guy the next day... knowing I hadn't had sex or contact with a guy in 7 months... I can figure out what I probably did.

This guy has a girlfriend, he already mentioned he wanted to break up with for months... but stated he never had breakin up with a gf before. He's only had three. He is also, two years younger than me... (Cougar me!).

So I tell him to keep it under wraps and we wouldn't do it again & stay friends.

Well my curiosity got the best of me, and I wanted him to know the great performance I can give in bed while sober. So we hung out again, and well we had a rebuttal. This time was different, I actually had an orgasm! (yeah pretty awesome). Anyone that can do that, I thought I should prolly try to stay with... but he had a gf. And I wanted to do the right thing, so we end the physical part for good.

We go out one night, and his girlfriend met up with us. He kissed in front of me. And she made it clear she did not want to become my friend. As much as I tried, this guy had a pretty cute friend. So I just hung out with him and another one of his female friends. As I hang out with his friend, he keeps trying to kiss me... I didn't want to play that card or game... BUT I knew I needed to move on. So I kissed him. He wasn't a bad kisser either HA

The end of the night comes about and the guy I kissed wants to take me home. I feel terrible and I just want to go to my home. But the guy I was originally with was my ride, I look at him, and ask him to take me home. He made a sarcastic remark about his friend wanting to take me home. I looked at him, and he understood. He went and told his gf he was gonna take me home.

That night, he parks away from my house. And says he felt immensely jealous about me and his friend. He said he felt just a strongly about it as if I were his gf. He said he was gonna break up with his gf that night.

He broke up with her. And we continued to hang out, it was pretty awesome the first week and half. But then he decided to make it clear that he didn't want a relationship... I was fine with that because I was still heart broken over my ex. SO that when things changed. He stopped holding my hand and showing affection in public...

I felt like his friends weren't supportive of him being with me...but they didn't like his ex-girlfriend either. As weeks went on, I tried to test us by being less physical and responsive... It felt like he stopped being attracted to me. It hurt pretty bad, I started to do cute things. Like bringing him lunch at work, and offering to go on dates...I noticed he was still talking and hanging out with his ex...

I realized, I messed up... And I guess if he still loves her I can never have him.

It hurt real bad, cuz all I wanted was to have another friend. Another drinking buddy and hopefully meet his girlfriend and be friends with all of them. But the one drunk night ruined it all.

He texted me one day. And told me hooked up with her, it was painful. But instead of just taking it, I decided to fight. And tell him how scorned I felt, and how terrible it was what he did. He never responded. I said I never wanted to hear from him unless she was out of his life for 3 months...

I stalked his facebook the other day, they are officially dating. I read on a website that they won't make it past 2-3 months if it is not true love. And if it is, it will last.

I just hope it works out. If it doesn't... I still want to try to be his friend. I think I'll check up in 1 month from when they were official to see if it lasts. That will be May 5th, so we will see. For now I just have to avoid all the common places we used to go together.

It doesn't make me happy to hang with a guy who is stuck on his ex-gf. I need to just make friends to be happy... which I still don't know how to do yet ! yikes !!!